A Letter To Dan…Bobby Failed Kindergarten…

BobbyBeausoleil-Dan-Kindergarten 1 You’re absolutely right, Dan. 

You work to make a living and Bobby does not. 

You don’t have all the time in the world to develop your lyrical muse in a tax-payer, paid-for music recording studio as Bobby has.

You haven’t committed murder and Bobby did. 

And, after some soul-searching as I was picking out the newest scent in air fresheners while doing my Chore-List-From-Hell, I figured out why there is such a difference between you and Bobby Beausoleil…

You graduated Kindergarten and Bobby should have been held back another year.


It’s as simple as that.

You see, you never were satisfied with just the status quo, when your glue and glitter artwork was done, and may I say well done, you did NOT sit on your laurels 
and bask in the glory during the BobbyBeausoleil-Dan-Kindergarten 2 Cookie & Milk & Nap Time Hours, as you lay on your home-brought towel, on the floor of your classroom…

Your mind went to far greater imaginings. You sought to go where no Danny had gone before…YOU sought Grade One!

Bobby was too busy sniffing the glue instead.

Bobby Beausoleil wanted Cookie & Milk Time, all the time, and while you were content with only two cookies, Bobby wanted the whole box. Afterwards, Bobby was the first kindergartner to hit his towel for Nap Time and fell asleep just as quick, not one worry or issue keeping him awake; whereas, you lay there sleepless, your wee mind endlessly pondering what your next move would be, to get you closer to your goal - Grade One.

Bobby was sleeping sound like a baby instead.

He never gave a thought to who purchased that towel on which he fell fast asleep. He never wondered who paid for the cookies and milk that he so enjoyed. He minded not one bit that others in authority decided when BobbyBeausoleil-Dan-Kindergarten 3 Paper Mache Hour was or when  Story Time was not.BobbyBeausoleil-Dan-Kindergarten 3 And Grade One, heck, he never heard of such a thing, and if he had known of its existence, had no thought, one way or the other, what it took to get “there” or if he ever managed to get “there” at all…

You, Dan, cared if your wet Paper Mache strips were applied evenly. Bobby just slapped on his, knowing full well that someone else in authority would fix his boo-boos, so why should he go to the trouble?

You, Dan, cared. 

Bobby never did.

When you asked your Teacher, in the midst of BobbyBeausoleil-Dan-Kindergarten 5 Playing Doctor, how one actually became one, Bobby had no ambition to actually BE one, when he could so easily continue to PRETEND to be one. To pretend at working was good enough for Bobby, but not for you.

While you, Dan, worked like a Trojan, in BobbyBeausoleil-Dan-Kindergarten 6 Shoe Tying Class, to get that knot and that bow juuuuust right, Bobby slapped those two laces together, loosely and without care, knowing full well that his actions could risk someone tripping over the laces and being hurt. Sure, he knew there was every chance that someone in authority, possibly your “Teach”, would scold him for his heinous act, but in the end he knew his boo boos would be forgotten, he would be forgiven, and he’d eventually receive a Pass for actions which never deserved such…

Bobby needed to be held back but NOT YOU, Dan.

You strived, you worked, you dreamed and had your dreams fulfilled.

You attained your coveted Grade One, and Two, and on up to the impossible Twelfth Grade. Heck, you even studied in a specialty after that, to achieve the position you have now, never once considering murdering anyone for quicker advancement.

And look what happened?

You, my dear Danny, were richly rewarded with the job of your dreams, and have been working at your career ever since, putting in those ungodly hours and paying those enormous I.R.S. taxes, just so you could offer your former fellow Kindergartener, Bobby Beausoleil, what he never took the time to work for himself.

Why should he, when YOU were providing for him?

You passed Kindergarten, Dan.

Bobby did not.

Feel sorry for Bobby, Dan, that he hasn’t attained what you have attained, being forced, I say forced, into whiling away his hours in a tax-payer, paid-for music recording studio…

Not everyone is as fortunate as you, Dan…

Aren’t you glad you passed Kindergarten?

I KNOW you are!


Anonymous said…

The unfortunate part about my kindergarten days is that my mother actually had to drag me by the ear to get me there.

It was in junior high, when I first met Lynette Shemple, that a whole new world was awakened to me. The sweaters that girl used to wear made me think that there was more to this "school stuff" than first realized.

Unattainable,...like the moon landing charade that some people believe in,...but, oh, I could dream.

You just had a problem if she caught you dreamin'.

Oh, those heady days of yester-year,....



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