The Living Hell…The In Between…

Maybe LSD lessens the reality.
Maybe you can go from one laced sugar cube to the next, one blood-soaked knife-wielding sore hand to the next, one blood curdling scream to the next and have it all be okay…

But the little birdie inside my tummy wonders…
Tex and Katie seemed just to go from the next high to sleeping off the last high in those two days of murder.
Sadie, ahhh, shit, she could have done this crap completely SOBER, and we all know it!
Linda, well, Hell, who the Hell actually knows what’s REALLY the truth inside that “Little Hippie Girl” head of hers, doubtful it is as angelic as The Bug made it out to be though.
I DO think of any, Linda was the one who had the first pangs of some sort that following day when her eyes glommed onto George’s TV set. Charlie just happy, Tex and Katie too high and Sadie, well, just Sadie to feel anything close to human…
Barbara Hoyt, and I dare say, many others there not participants in the last evenings events, were undoubtedly sick to their stomachs. Some others, I'm sure, started making their plans to flee…couldn’t blame them, legally or morally…
The truly scary Family member reactions though, in my opinion, came NOT from the killers themselves but from two girls who, if they had been free to do so, may have made Cielo Drive even more horrific than it ended up to be… Red & Blue, Squeaky and Sandy, Charlie’s dual Queen Bees, as it were.
I feel that if they had been at Spahn’s that night and not in jail for credit card fraud, that much of what Charlie had ordered WOULD have taken place up there in Bel Air…eyes extracted and squished against walls, the baby cut out, corpses hung, the works. The ONLY reason they were free of all this legally was just because of fate, NOT because they weren’t THE most diabolical of Manson’s Girls.
Soooooo, the morning of the 9th dawns, and every TV in the Greater LA area, not to mention most of North America, is lit with those grainy images of Cielo Drive, those hauntingly white sheets on the front lawn, the mystery of what was found inside more paralyzing than the actually facts, at least, initially.
Everyone in the Inner Circle at Spahn’s knows now and unless I’m an idiot, I just cannot believe that any of those killers thought that after that yummy taste of blood and power that Charlie got that night, that it wouldn’t make him want more. You just cannot tell me that these kids weren’t holding their collective breath from dawn that day until dusk…and in so doing, made real what I am coining here as a Living Hell, the In Between, the Gray Before the Utter Black, the Waiting…for more.
What do you do in those gray hours, the time that your soul is already sentenced to Hell but before the next bloody onslaught in Hell is to begin?
Even in your drug-addled way, do you ever just think about any of it? What you saw? How the knife felt in your hands? The ringing in your ears from the now incessant cries and screams? The sheer TERROR in the eyes of your victims? Does ANY of that ever come as a vision over your glazed and vacant mind? Tex, Katie, Sadie, Linda????
Because it does over MINE, every goddamned time the calendar hits on these dates!
Oh…to be a blue-bottle or horse fly on the walls on the shacks at Spahn’s on the morning of the 9th…right?
Could we have cut the tension with a Buck knife, I wonder?
Hours tick by…not many left… Gun Room meeting still to come…
Did Charlie know even before dawn hit, that a second night was in order? I'd bet yes.
Did the kiddie killers?
Therein lies the crux…
The clock is till ticking, and people who are breathing today, reading the horror of last night, will in just hours to come, soon be dropped themselves into this witchy brew of blood and gore and mixed forever alongside the dead they have just read about in their morning paper and forever intertwined with these bestial killer animals for all eternity…
A Living Hell? Everyone concerned doesn’t know it yet…but yes.