Yep, the Manson gang have returned for yet another round of questioning; well, not so much returned as they couldn’t untie themselves from my 43 foot 8 inch long, 3/4 inch diameter rope!!!
I’m not sure how long the nooses will hold, as Charlie is itching to head for the desert hills…something about stolen VW parts and an unforgiving Sherriff, but anyhoo, they’re here now, so let’s begin, shall we…
1) If you were in the killing-for-property mood, Charlie, why not do away with Grandma Myers as planned? I know your gang had a flat on the way to “offing” her but you never had a Plan B. How come no Plan B? Did she make really good chocolate-chip cookies or something?
2) Hey Charlie, where did you obtain all those National Geographic magazines, that were found in your bus at Barker, featuring Adolf Hitler on the covers? You don’t seem like the Library-goer type yet I can’t see you shelling our your disposable drug $$$ for a N.G. subscription either…You were obsessed with Hitler around age 9 and I was obsessed with Nixon around age 9…hmmmm…
3) Hey Charlie, IF you did return to the Tate house after the murders, how come you didn’t pick up the broken gun grip pieces that were lying near the steamer trunks at the front door? You took the time to bend down and place those Manhattan-frame eye glasses there as a red herring, so why not? Was this your first “Get INto Jail Free” (Calling) Card?
4) And if you did return to Tate, why didn’t you and Bruce and Clem and Nancy find Sadie’s lost Buck knife? I mean, it was right there, peeking out from beside that chair cushion, all new and shiny and blood-free…I mean, why not finish what you went there to do? Was this your second “Get INto Jail Free” (Calling) Card?
5) Katie, why the heck did you keep on hitting bone when you stabbed your victims? I’m trying not to be too critical here but the other girls didn’t seem to have this problem, so what’s up with you? I thought Tex gave you girls Buck lessons at Spahn’s…were you not paying attention? Or were you coming off yet another acid trip and skipped those all important classes?
6) Tex, or Charlie, why was that bayonet that deCarlo handed into the LAPD brought in, in two pieces? Bayonets just don’t break in two from murder and mayhem, do they? And how does breaking a bayonet make it more difficult to link it to the crimes? Did Katie break it hitting yet more bones on bodies we know not of ???
7) And for that matter, how come that bayonet was never brought into the trials as evidence? Me thinks there was no blood evidence on that sucker either…Geez, you guys are good!
8) To all the Manson gang, if you were set free, what would your plans be for, say, around 12:30am this coming August 9th? I’m just curious as some of my friends might be hovering around Cielo Drive at that time and I wouldn’t want them to get in your way…
9) Squeaky, what did you mean exactly when you told Bugliosi in your Independence, CA interview that George Spahn was a good lover? I’m not trying to be crass here but what exactly does an 82 year old man do that say, a 22 year old man doesn’t? I’m 45 and your advice could come in handy in, say, 37 years…
10) Charlie, what exactly did you mean when you said Scientology is a “mental health cult”??? And if you could pass on the answer to Tom Cruise, Brooke Shields will be forever grateful!
11) Bruce, why tell Danny deCarlo that Shorty was cut up in 9 pieces? Why not eight? Why not ten? Does the number nine signify for The Family Revelations 9, or say, three 9s upside down???
12) Tex, you said it had “clicked” in your brain NOT to use your fingers to turn off the Hall light “I flipped off the hall light with my elbow. (Avoid fingerprints, my mind had clicked.)” in the Tate house but you pushed the gate button with your bloody paws, “…so I jammed my finger down on the automatic gate button, leaving a bloody fingerprint that would have been useful evidence if a policeman hadn't obliterated it the next day.” why? Had that clicking in of your brain clicked off again by the time you hit the gate?
13) Charlie, did you want to get caught on at least the LaBianca murders? Because, why, if you didn’t, would you use the leather thongs from your OWN leather outfit to tie Leno’s hands? Was that going to be your third “Get INto Jail Free” (Calling) Card??? I thong so…
14) Charlie, why didn’t you allow Mary Brunner and Barbara Hoyt and the other girls to wear their eye glasses as members of your Family? Were you afraid that if they really saw your face that they’d realize you weren’t Elvis Presley, in town to do another girly movie, and run for the hills screaming?
15) Charlie, why, according to Bugliosi in his book Helter Skelter, did you have an 80 year old woman living in a dog pen with two other dogs near Spahn’s boardwalk? Was she to be your new “Front Porch Girl”, since Lulu, Katie & Sadie were also “penned”, to lure prospective bikers into your lair? An equal-opportunity employer…good on ya Charlie!
Hey Charlie, whatthehell?!
He got loose guys. I’m sorry. I’ll try and get him back for another round once his rice supply runs out at Barker!